15 minutes left

Gwen Bell – 15 Minutes to Live
We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

I have a story. A story where fear should control every outcome but doesn't. Faith endures and overcomes. Faith I didn't know I had at the time but looking back realized how much God was and is in control. I love you Seth, Shane, Rozzy & Scotty. Don't be afraid. With God all things are possilbe. Don't under estimate yourself. Even the things you aren't very good at ... do anyways. Never see they things you can't do .. only see the things and imagine what you can. Hold your babies close. Smell them. Hug them and smother them with kisses. Love your spouse unconditionally and cherish them. They are the person that loves you most and will always cheer for you... even when your babies are gone. Kiss , hug and be afffectionate infront of your own children. Love the long days. Sing the old hymnals. Know the Lords prayer. Don't ever feel like your job or career is your resource, remember God is your resource. If you want to soar with the eagles you've got to get out of running with the turkeys. Make traditions. Don't worry if the dishes are dirty or the laundry is piled up... go outside and put a blanket down under the shade. Make kool-aid and have a soda on a special occasion. Smell the roses. Forgive. Forgive with all your heart and when ever you feel like your down or fighting negetivity pray for God's love to fill your void and to help you remember whats important. Don't be bitter. Read a Joanna Weaver book. She says - bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Don't be afraid of necessary endings. Don't be afraid of not having any friends & remember its only for a season. God never asks you to sacrifice anything without giving you something better back tenfold. Eat the cake. and the pie. I always have loved your Dad more than anything in the world. God has created you with a purpose and with a gift. He has with everyone. Embrace your gift and love others for who they are and lift them up and encourage them to use their gifts. Everyone is fearfully & wonderfully made. Somedays you might feel your age... I haven't yet. I love your missing teeth. I'm the toothfairy. I end up eating most of your valentine and easter candy. Jump in the puddles (even though I told you not to when you were kids). Take pictures of EVERYTHING. love the dirty hand prints. Always know you were my treasures, answered and unanswered prayers, my favorite photos, favorite taste and forever loved smell. I love you forever and ever to the moon and back times infiniti. Love your today, for tomorrow isn't promised. you hold my heart.

decided to....

I've made a decision to
get healthy
eat better
make excersise apart of my daily life
read more books with my kids
go to bed earlier
put more sunscreen on
look in the persons eyes Im talking to longer and more often
have more meaningful conversations
slow down
enjoy cooking
drink my coffee slower
finish my cup of coffee
love harder
understand more
clean out my closet
never decide what my favorite photo is
turn the radio up louder
dance more often
wear earrings
let my hair get longer
let the garage be dirty
do 1 load of laundry everyday (only)
grow a garden (that produces fruit & veggies)
sing more (American Idol status)
listen more
invest in the relationships I have
make more meaningful connections
love like Jesus does
read more
sit on the blanket in the backyard more
hug so much more and harder
shave my legs more often
make my bed everyday
journal more
preserve memories that will be hard for me to remember when Im older (so my kids can have REAL stories)
read my bible daily & devotions
serve more
ride my bike with the kids around the block one more time
play more board games and a few video games with my boys... (I can take them to school on some of those video games) ;)
roller skate like my Great Grandma Bette when she was at the park with my Mom
write all my recipes on cards for my daughter
ride the boogie board with my kids at the beach
get a wet suit
learn how to surf
lay under the moon .... a big, bright one =)
watch a few more sunsets than i did the year before
keep traditions alive
create new ones
become a grill master
make more homemade biscuits and remember my Great Grandma Ethail when Im doing it.
make homemade jam
make more iced tea
take the ice chest more places
drink a glass of wine and listen to Etta James late at night
use my shimmery lotion for no reason
have more date nights
be my kids biggest cheerleader
visit more museums
hold babies that aren't mine
opt for soy
jump in puddles
yell less
snuggle more
tell my Danny how much I love him and show it more often
be still more
.....................
I know it's a long list... but in the spirit of turning 30 this year I figure I have my next 30 years to complete it and add to it along the way. God has already blessed me so much with being able to do many of these things already .... just when I think it can't get any better.... it does.

where the magic happens

the breakfast table.

where lunch is served.

the dinner table.

we talk about our day here.

ask our questions.

talk about our highlights here

our lows here

we spill drinks here

leave hand prints here.

This is one of the places God provides.

This is the table where our hands are prayerful and Grace is said.

We love each other at this table

and set traditions here.

this is where the magic happens.

that's all folks

sometimes this is all there is... and it is SO enough.

absolute highest feeling of love.

Today is not only Mothers Day for me, but is the day I first became a Mom.

11 years ago I gave birth to a 8lb 4 oz. 21 inch long boy that in his 11 years of exsistence has given me all his love.

EVERY. OUNCE.

A boy that became 11 too quickly. A boy that still tries to sit on my lap and get me to hold him like a baby. He is such a goofball. a hardworker. my smart boy. a handsome face with dimples.

and it got me to thinking about how becoming a Mother changed my world, my opinions, feelings, thoughts. It changed me. It changed my heart.

Happy Birthday to my Sweet Seth. The lump in my throat from looking at this photo will never go away. I love you baby.

As a Mom there are

nights where I could barely keep my eyes open to feed my baby
rocking in a chair that I was desperate to keep going so the baby would go back to sleep
staring at my sleeping husband in a dark room as I rock in the chair

pee pee pants
bed wetter
water all over the bathroom floor from a baby playing in a flooded sink
self cut bangs by my first grader(s)

crinkled up homework
scary dirty hands
crayon marks on things besides paper
toliet paper rolls rolled out like a 20 foot long red carpet

unmade beds
spilled drinks
tipped over plates
permanent marker in scary places
a tube of lipstick all over my toddlers face... everywhere BUT his lips

diaper changes
underware changes
entire wardrobe changes
salty tears
dirty tear streaked faces
dirty doorknobs and walls
shoes on the carpet
playdates with the toliet I didn't know about

teething
biting
potty training
moving up to the next size in clothes
haircuts
baths
the smell of my babies after a bath
putting lotion on them after their bath

So many things I can remember and this list can go on and on.
But the one thing that sticks out to me the most is the
dirty hands that wrap around my neck
the tear streaked faces I kiss and taste a bit of salt
boo boos I kiss
band aids I place
covers I pull up
food I make
kisses I give
the photos I take
the popsicles I hand out
the sunscreen I lather on
all these things and more are so worth it for the
love I feel
being a Mom.

Nothing in my earthly life will ever compare to the absolute highest feeling of love than being the Mom to Seth, Shane, Rozzy & Scotty.

Early Mothers Day

these kids are the kids that argue & bicker and act like "it was an accident"

She's a big diva.. but she loves her brothers.. and they love her back....... sometimes

Mamma's boys...... for now.

Happy Mothers Day (week) to me.

all in a day

kids bicker
baby crying
noses running
dirty clothes spilling over a basket
loud t.v.
ipod is blaring for the kid in the shower
food is starting to burn
screen is left open
flies starting to get in
a spill proof cup spills all over the dinner table
not sure if washer is working
dryer is buzzing
a riot is breaking out over control over the remote
drama in the girl department
boy is still playing like he DOESN'T have a broken arm
kids coughing
kids wanting to go in the sprinklers despite the coughing
whiny kids
"I was here first" kids
smack talking kids
headache still won't go away
can't find a sharpened pencil in the entire house
realizing a sharpened pencil would be a weapon
seeing the blessing in not having sharpened pencils in the house
kids that act like it was an accident
dinner didn't defrost all the way
everyone is aggravating someone else
no one hangs their shower towel up
can't get the cordless phone to work
when the phone rings I gotta stand in one spot (so difficult)
spill proof cup leaked again
hangers and socks all across the hallway
computer running slow
didnt get to sweep or mop today

all these things throughout the day I can find a blessing in. Because when all this stuff is going on something reminds me be thankful, grateful and to not take these things for granted. I sit at my computer and type this as my toddler climbs on the back of my chair, accidently pulls my hair and reaches around to sneak a kiss from me.

I am so blessed this is my life.