VEGAS

Im going to Vegas this weekend.
I dont know if that makes me happy or tired...
or happy that I can rest, since Im taking NO kids, because Im tired.

Everything about this trip shouts opportunity.

in so many ways on so many different levels...
but it also shouts fluffy pillows, clean, crisp white sheets, drapes pulled closed to have them drawn open to let the morning sunlight in while I eat breakfast in bed...
It shouts late night reading a book and having my,long forgotten, glass of wine.
it shouts "YOU DO REALIZE WHEN YOU SAY 'LATE NIGHT' YOUR TALKING ABOUT 10PM, RIGHT?"

I could go to Vegas and get my party on... get drunk. loose control...stay up until 4am, pretend to be someone I gave up a long time ago.

When I think of partying I think that I should be doing the running man or the roger rabbit.... maybe doing the humpty dance...

"alright, stop whatcha doin' cause Im about to ruin the image and the style thatcha used to"

or belting out sublime somewhere with a group of strangers that I think are my friends for one night.

or .....

I could take a swim, go sight seeing, see a show, visit a spa, have dinner, meditate, look at the color sea green and feel relaxed...

hmmm.... maybe i'll just have one margarita.



or two. ;)

yesterday...

Yesterday...
I woke up too early
made cupcakes for a 5th grade classroom
saw my boy's face light up when he got 100% on a reading test.
watched two toddlers walk side by side, when yesterday they were just babies.
went back to the good 'ol days of pintos and cheese.
toured Perris
wondered if a satelite giving directions to a phone could really catch fire and come hurling toward earth.
saw my sister go nuts, with all her strength, trying to fix something.
saw her get excited to be at a Forever 21 and create her own dialect.
held a toddler
watched the toddler fall asleep with in a matter of minutes.
laid down to take a nap, what i thought was gonna be a nap.... didnt end up being a nap at all.
felt my heart skip a beat when I saw Danny walk through the door.
saw how much my younger brother has grown up... and how much he loves the love of his life. Felt true joy for him.
watched my little brother get the "talk" before going out to his first football game.
watched him leave the car and not be so little anymore.
felt proud but felt time moving to fast & the world spinning too quickly.
felt a warm pumpkin spice latte and good company.
heard a police officer ask for license, registration, and INSURANCE.....
looked for head lights on a mountain.
took an off roading trip with my Mom at the wheel and followed Steve "Dad" Irwin in a safari jeep to the safe streets of Elsinore.
looked for 7 daughters.... or 7 sisters.
drank a brewski with my brother
felt a hot flash and the onset of pre - menopause.
looked at my computer and couldn't get anywork done...
closed my eyes next to Danny...remembered all the details of the day and felt thankful.

Yesterday was a good day.

up in the sky

Its been a while since I've posted. been working on the new & improved website and changing stuff up on the blog and some new specials for the holidays.. more to come soon... but while working I listen to music..and this one song snagged my heart and a flood of emotion came rushing in ... or in this case ... out. =)

Through my window I see a blue sky. beautiful blue. It makes me think of you. I see how white and puffy the clouds are.. they are passing. slowly. it makes me think of time.

It makes me thankful, and sorry because I miss you. I feel the sorry-ness for every person I've ever missed in my life. It hurts because I miss you so much. I forgot how much I missed you. I feel like I've re-opened a wound thats still trying to heal.

I guess it's okay because I miss you in a healthy way now.

my face is tear stained as I type and think about you.

my ugly face is scrunched up from trying not to cry.. but it makes me cry harder. I love you and I miss you.

I am thankful to have had you in my life. I would hope if the situation were reversed you would feel the same. I love you and I miss you. I wish there was more.
More to say and more of you.
my nose is clogged and I taste salt.

the clouds are still moving ...but it seems like their stuck in one place in the sky.
I feel how much I've healed from missing you.. but see how much I haven't.

the only thing that comes to mind is I love you and I miss you.

day 11 of {365}

Mike and Cassie got together and whipped up the most beautiful baby girl Alyssa. (more of her to come soon) but I really wanted to catch some of Mike and Cassie's spark..... and here's what I got... thanks Mike & Cassie for being so dang sparky.

day 10 of {365}

 
OH WHAT? YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS FROSTING? YOU BETTA AX SOMEBODDY!
the frostingless cupcake..

its a melted marshmallow on top...

SUPRISE.... =)

day 9 of {365}

 
wow! I almost forgot today.. sheesh!
talk about slidin' in on my butt on day 9!!

I've had this since I've been a little girl..
little in size............aaahem! and in age.
Never really paid attention to it. or cared about what it said.
I particularly was fond of the picture on the left hand side.
I always imagined that the little girl praying with her kitty cat was me.

That was until I realized I was NOT a blonde, and I was allergic to cats.
Right around the time I realized that was the time I realized what the words meant.
and the words are so much more important to me now.

Thank you day 9

the queen of laundry

 
day 8 of {365}
I have to let you know that before I started typing this particular blog I stretched.
like an athlete. like a marathon runner or an olympic cross country team member.

I felt COMPELLED to stretch after looking at all those baskets of laundry.

I looked at this photo, that I took of the laundry, I just stared at it.
calling myself back to reality a few times. but then only to zone out again on how much laundry that was.

I mean I've done more laundry than this at one time, but this is a normal weekly laundry tower at my house.

I looked at it and studied it.
I compared it to the leaning tower of Pisa.
and thought seriously of setting it on fire.

I stared at it and tried to find something positive to say.
about the laundry.

if I told you I loved to do laundry I would be lying.
if i told you it brang joy to my heart to know my kids are wearing clean clothes.... that would be a lie as well.
i should be joyful for that reason. but im not.

I just finished looking down at the fibers of my carpet still trying to figure out something to say positive about laundry. hmmmmmmmmmmm..

Should I get down on my knees in front of it and start praying?
Should I be rebellious and knock it over to let someone else pick it up? (AS IF!)
Should I wash it, dry it, fold it & hang it all up so I can see this laundry tower's evil twin by next thursday?

Im wondering if there is a way to get on top of it and sit up there like its my throne.

day 7 of {365}

 

We celebrated with ice cream.
We always do.
thats just how we celebrate.

this was birthday cake flavor.
when you taste it .... you actually think its someones birthday.
I suppose we should celebrate everyday. all the time.
for our health, home, each other. All the things we take for granted.
I suppose ice cream is appropriate all the time. ( if we did that the kids would think I had a tumor!)
I am grateful. for everything.
i am grateful for the things that I can't even remember to be thankful for... im sure God helps me *not* remember them for a reason... and for that I am grateful.

However on this particular occasion
I am grateful for the ice cream social I had with my babies.
let us raise our cones in a celebatory toast in honor of each other.
thats a big reason to celebrate!