runneth over 29 years

I have to close my eyes and try to remember.. remember every single detail every day. Because every day is really that good.
I never thought I would be here.
having it all.

I am so rich, spoiled rotten rich.

I get to love a man that would do anything in the world for me & loves me back when I don't deserve it. I get to kiss my babies while they're sleeping.

I get to see the people I love most. Touch them, hug them and share real stuff. I love them so much, I am so grateful.

I don't know how I got here, how God saw fit for me to have so much.
I know it is not by my own merit that I get to wake up to this life.

30 years so young to have held & experienced what feels like so much. I am so beyond any comprehensive grateful. God knows my heart & he understands it.

Its the kind of grateful that makes you wanna drop down to your knees in the middle of your day and just feel like there isn't enough room in your cup. It runneth over all the time. When my kids love on me, joke with me, want me to play a game with them, read to them, watch a movie with them, when my husband just wants me to come a little closer, when he wants me to watch Jepoardy with him, when he wants me to cook with him, my cup runneth over. and as I cry now thinking of all these blessings... my eyes runneth over with tears and my heart with thankfulness and love... where does it go when it runneth over?

one thing I have learned that doesn't runneth over is time. So Im soaking up every minute, every grade promotion, every lost tooth, every hug & kiss, every kiss 'my boo boo', every time I get to be the hero. Soaking up every minute I kiss Danny with goofiness and underlying passion that I have for the boy I met when I was 16, soaking up the next chapter of just him and I and what lies ahead for us,

soaking it all up... and sopping up whatever runneth over.

almost 30

so Im on my way home from a session this evening when it dawns on me

"Im outta the house. BY MYSELF.
and Im far.
Like an hour away far." =)

Oh LOOK! there's a Starbucks! its a sign! I'll treat myself to a drink (with caffiene) because I dont have to share with anyone...
IIIIIM ALL BY MYSELF =).
I *walk in*, order my drink & sit down to enjoy
("walking in" .... something you can't do with 4 kids ...... okay, you can but YOUR one $3-$5 dollar indulgence turns into an emotional $12-$15 because you had to buy the kids some kind of DEcaffienated drink.) =I

so here I am... ALL ALONE =) and a thought scurries through my mind....... "hmmmmm. I should look up a Forever 21 and see if there is one around here". I say this because the closest Forever21 from where I live is at least 30 minutes away.. that hurts.

I'd better get going. I start walking to the car, its getting late and F21 will be closing soon. Hope I can make it to the nearest one... (wishful thinking).

I walk out of the Starbucks and start toward my truck,look up & lo and behold there is a Forever 21 in the distance. a short distance.

Now I believe in "signs" and I have to say, I felt compelled that this was a "SIGN". Im alone, I have more than enough time, I have a little bit of cash on me, and its so close.

The yellow brick road led me to OZ.

Then feelings of guilt start to kick in. "geez! Mom & sissy aren't here" I feel like Im somewhat betraying them. like Im stealing candy when they aren't looking. its hard to ignore and supress these feelings but I manage to do it somehow.

I walk into the F21 and realize its connected to a mall and right across the way is a Charlotte Russe!

Im dead. I've died and gone somewhere where they have huge "signs" and bright lights. I can only attribute what happened tonight to the universe knowing I'll be turning 30 in a few days.

and let me tell you, 2 adorable skirts & a belt later, it feels so good to almost be 30.

something green challenge

the days challenge was "something green". this was the first thing that came to my mind green. its got history and style.. its my kinda green. =)

up in the sky

the challenge was to photograph clouds... and I would have loved to if I could have found some... but it was such a beautiful day that this was all I found up in the sky...

I wore today

I love these earrings, I love the color and I love the little hootie owls and woodland creatures kinda thing... and I love flip flops. Photo challenge #2 was to photograph something you wore today. notice I have taken the "day" part of they Photo challenge. I am just going with the number of challenges.. it stays fun for me that way.

p.s. earrings are important.... something I've learned growing up... and something Im just now starting to put to use. =)

breathe &

day 1 photo challenge

sometimes this is it.
hair not done, forced smile, I've got too much stuff going on in my day to make an actual smile, does she look kind of psycho, day. day one of the photo challenge and I'm already struggling. here's to day 2 =)

destination.....

If we live truly, we shall see truly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?


I would love to go to so many places but the one I would work the hardest to get to is France. something about the language, the love, the bakery... it calls to me. It I beckons me from California. what else can a girl do to get to France besides save her pennies. and nickels too.

can't really think of anything besides....

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

this was a tough one for me because most of the thoughts, ideas, or actions aren't really opposed by the involved family or friends that I have. Nothing at least that would be such a big deal that it would be the first thing that popped into my mind after reading the prompt. They only thing that I could really think of is not everyone believes in forgive and forget. Well forgive and move on even. Whats the point in forgiveness if you don't continue to love and move on.Don't say you forgive but you don't forget... then don't bother forgiving... forgive wholeheartedly and love that you are taking steps to rebuild something that was damaged or in ruins. Afterall, most of the time forgiveness isn't for the other person.... its for ourselves. forgive and love unconditionally.

one sentence

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

Time spent in other things, even if your productive, besides your family, is time wasted.

thats right. that was my today people.