diaper love

in diapers, outta diapers.
wipes. clean, crisp, folded diapers out of the package, dirty diapers.
shelves and shelves of diapers at the store stacked up looking like they reach the ceiling and towering over me. overwhelming diapers. diapers that need to be directly taken out to the "big trash".

with all my babies. all my babies that are now out of diapers. I remember when I was a first time mom changing diapers, I didn't realize or appreciate what diapers meant. How could I?

Now I see it was the need it signified for my baby. The need I never knew I needed, or never knew I loved so much. How feeling that need felt so good over the smell of poop.

Everytime one of the kids were potty trained meant they grew up a little more and needed me less. They could do more on their own. It's what I wanted, right? what I worked so hard to teach them.

when each of my kids were finally out of diapers..... i felt a .... freeing feeling??. but really free from what? and now that there are no more diapers, I really didnt want to be so free after all.

now all I can do is shake my head and fight back some of the strongest emotions I've ever felt over diapers.