I wish I felt differently in this moment. I dont want to feel upset, or want to see someone I love get hurt. but there is something inside of me right now, that wants to see someone get what they deserve. and I'm sure if they do get it, afer they get it, I'll feel bad that they got it.
or will I?
I would hope I would feel terrible for feeling this way, even feeling this way in the smallest way still seems like a big feeling that I shouldn't have.
Everyone has a situation they feel wronged in. Something that went unjustified. I've worked really hard to understand not everything needs to be justified. I am not the justifier, the overseer of justificiation, I realize I may never even see any justification in my lifetime for something that has caused me a tremendous amount of pain. (and Im sure vice versa, someone out there, some place, the table is turned and they feel wronged by me. Truly, I know specific people who feel this way about me.) however, *I've also worked really hard on acceptance, forgiveness, respecting feelings and rules I don't agree with. I don't feel I need to be justified. I just want to let it go. And I thought I have. Until now. I don't want to give this dark cloud a reason to come back and threaten rain.
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