car wrecks & hummingbirds

My thoughts go so fast through my head i feel crazy sometimes. not your normal 'mom craziness'. but like borderline schitzophrenic craziness. I wish i had a brain recorder to record all of my thoughts. I thought about keeping pen and paper to write them down, or a tape recorder. besides hearing partial thoughts and a lot of "apologize to your brother/sister" im certain that when i come back to read those thoughts, or hear them from the recorder i would have lost whatever is was feeling in that EXACT moment... that moment of real. that moment of passion. that moment of unedited unanalyzed, uninterrupted thought process. i will not be able to feel what i was feeling the time i was feeling it. and for that i am sad. because when i think of something i think "wow i got to get this out on paper somewhere" . * i also have self-proclaimed/self-recognized ephiphanies* . .. gotta get those out somewhere. and then like a car wreck.. how fast a car wreck happens... i crash somewhere & im lost. thoughts are spinning out of control making skid marks on the pavement, nothing is in focus as it once was. thoughts are scattered all over the highway, thoughts are mixed in with debris, stuck in someone elses tire, thoughts have broken the windshield & dented the fender, thoughts have stopped an ENTIRE freeway and is jamming up the other side of, what was once flowing traffic, because of looky-lous. it could be a major wreck that is my distraction or something as small as picking up the kids from school (which IS a major distraction for me)i can be in the middle of a thought(s) when im in the car to pick the kids up from school and when everyone piles into the suburban talk of how days went, and what today's lesson was fogs up any trace of, what was once, a clear (almost finished) thought . its gone. just like that. JUST.LIKE.THAT.. I saw a hummingbird on the way to a church meeting today. i couldn't help but think that my thoughts were exactly like the hummingbird. there it was. Just for a few seconds. suspended in the air fluttering its wings at a million miles per mili -second and then in an instant it flew away. never to return so close as the way you saw it the first time it was there. I don't know about you guys but when i see a hummingbird i always kick myself in the butt because i never have my camera when one is around.. or they move too fast and im just not that quick with my camera so i can catch a picture of them. a picture so close where you can see the actual bird, the colors, their long beak and the blurriness of their wings. the same way i feel about my thoughts.... as much as i struggle with this though.. i am thankful. so for what its worth ......thank you God for my half thoughts...