let me.

to my first born son....

you've taught me so many things. you don't know much when your 18 & have a baby boy.
you saved me.
you showed me what unconditional love is.
let me show you back.

Im caught between letting you be your age & keeping you as a baby.
im learning.

when did you grow? i've been there everyday of your life? how did you get so big?
grow in heart? grow in love? how did your heart get so big?
you can't even scowl at me without me wanting to put my hand on your face & pull you in for a big squeeze. even though im not "cool" when i do that.
When did you start to take iniative? Initiave to be so grown up? iniative to lead?

Let me hold you forever & rub my chin along the shape of the top of your nose as you sleep. hold your hands out to me so I can reach down and scoop you up.
let me protect you. Let me rock you to sleep forever.
you'll always be my baby. I love you uncondtionally.
xo Mom.