bittersweetness

So many things have happened over the last month.
so many exciting things. New experiences, old faces, familiar feelings.
glimpses into the future, reminders of the past... the bittersweetness of today.

My Mom's birthday came. we celebrated in a beautiful park in Irvine California.
her birthday was on cinco de mayo day. double celebration.

Went on the last kindergarten field trip my daugher will ever have. saw baby animals at the farm. experienced the circle of life of baby animals with their mama animals with my circle of life who weighs 43 pounds and had a ponytail in her hair.

Seth's birthday was 3 days after Mom's. He turned 10. It was a BIG deal.
celebrated at the beach with family.

Mothers day crept up on us and so did my dishes and laundry.

rode a school bus down to oceanside with Seth's 4th grade class and had one of the most emotional experiences visiting Mission San Luis Rey. then had a near death experience on the way home from the field trip ...from a full blown allergy attack.

worked on portraits. taking, traveling, editing.
then worked my way through a few sore throats and fevers.

Met up with some girlfriends that stand the test of times. Had dimsum with my girls and introduced my Mom to some of my friends. (something I've always dreamed of doing) ..truly something I've always wanted to do.

Watched one of Danny's dreams come true to buy a dirtbike for our boys. I witnessed ten years of waxing and waning and thinking, and proposing, worrying, and excitement all come together when Danny rolled that bike outta the bed of the truck and watched his boys faces light up like Christmas trees. I watched Danny's light up even brighter.

drove to the desert, spent time with family, made memories, saw the boys make friends, and develop a new level of trust with their Dad.

bbq'd with family and watched Danny put all his love and care into making food for our family and watched them return it back to Danny by raving about how good it was. Watched Danny soak it up.

held back tears when I saw my daughter graduate from Kindergarten, and pictured her graduation on a much larger scale.... as in highschool and college.

bursted with pride to see Seth so proud of himself for getting student of the month award. then I wondered if i showed him enough how much I love him and if he truly knows how proud of him I am.

Laughed at the kids playing together in the sprinklers, slipping and sliding then falling. cracked up at Scotty trying to drink from the sprinklers and take his water diaper off. laughed harder at my baby sister run around naked after a day of swimming.

cried my eyes out and let the lump in my throat have complete reign.
i didn't fight it. tears are soaking up my shirt even as I type this out.... as I am reminded of how awesomely God has blessed me & my family... soaked with salty tears as I know I can't keep it like this forever.

bittersweet.