somewhere over the rainbow

how would you know how much I love you?
there aren't enough words in enough multiple languages to make you know how much you are loved. how much my heart aches because you'll never ever fully know the magnitude of my love for you.

are there rules how to love someone?
if so, who makes them?
I always thought God made the rules.
1Corinthians 13 tells me how to love.
challenges me to love more than I love you now..
and to love the people I don't.


I was taugh the meaning of love meant you would die for someone.
its SO MUCH MORE.
while laying down your life for someone is noble and honorable.....
loving unconditionally while your alive is harder.
feeling the beats of your heart... knowing who each beat is for.
naming each beat for each person you love.
naming off each breath of air after the ones you love.

what if I loved someone so much it could hurt them?
if my love were a weight, a boulder, a rock... it would crush them to death.

if my love were a hug it would squeeze the life right out of them.

what if I loved someone so much it didnt make sense.
if it borderlined banana farm worthy

what if the way I loved someone only made sense somewhere over the rainbow.

where anything was possible.
where my love was beautiful no matter how I showed it.
despite my flaws, dents, dings, imperfections, loud mouth, eye rolls, hand gestures, insensitive things i've ever said.

where my love mattered to you inspite of what you thought or how you thought i should show it.
where my love spilled out unconditionally in a way you never thought possible.
where you could count the stars and get tired of counting... thats my love in stars.
where quiet was louder & more powerful than anything I could ever say to explain how much I love you.
deafening silence is my love.

anything that grabs you and envelops you... entrenches you... takes you to a new place in your life. ... new chapters.... new experiences...when you feel down & out, or on could 9, when you feel like your drowing, when your short of breath... the warm blanket when its cold.... the cool breeze on a hot smmer day... the water that quenches your thirst, your umbrella in a downpour, the rainboots when your up to your knees in water, when you can't stop crying, when you can't stop that ugly face when your crying.....
THATS ME LOVING YOU.

whatever way I chose to express my love to you ...what ever way I say it....
you would recognize it was my love. it would be distinctive and unmistakable. because I love like nobody else.
and you.....................................
are nobody else.