the fight

I fight the urge to just sit.
i fight the urge to go back to bed.
i fight the urge to neglect my kids.
i fight the urge to cuss up a storm ( and then sometimes i don't)
i fight the urge to want to be pregnant again.
i fight the urge to tell someone how i really feel.
i fight the urge to yell at my kids (not enough)
i fight the urge to cry
i fight the urge to eat really bad things for my body (again.... not enough)
i fight the urge to take a nap EVERYDAY..
i fight the urge to just let my kids buy lunch everyday instead of make it for them.
i fight the urge to let the toys everywhere make me crazy.
i fight the urge to let the laundry sit in baskets for days after they've been outta the dryer.
i fight the urge to let my kids have cookies, candy and soda.
i fight the urge to skip brushing my teeth today.
i fight the urge to just leave it.. i'll get it later.
i fight the urge to spend our life savings on camera equipment & scrapbooking supplies.
i fight the urge to cut someone with my words.
i fight the urge to be sarcastic at a level 10... but not at a level 4 or 5.
I fight the urge to think about myself only.
i fight the urge to embarass someone i feel needs it.
i fight the urge to not feel that.
i fight the urge to re-arrange my furniture every 2 months.
i fight the urge to drink or smoke myself into a coma.
i fight the urge to laugh at someone else's expense.
i fight the urge to make decisions other people don't want me to make.. so i can please them.
I fight the urge to be resentful for that.
i fight the urge to treat my kids everytime they do something incredible. (which is all the time for me)
i fight the urge to laugh at something my kids do or say when i should be serious.
i fight the urge to just pick up my camera and walk out the door.
i fight the urge to sing in the car and drown out the voices of my kids.
i fight the urge to not get dressed in the morning.
i fight the urge to pick up my baby everytime he wants me to pick him up.
i fight the urge to not read my bible and to pray... to just go to sleep and forget about it.
i fight the urge to sleep in on Sundays and for go church.
i fight the urge to spend a ridiculous amount of money or things i deem necessary.

i look at all these things and urges i fight and its nothing. its nothing compared to what others wake up and fight.
death.
addiction.
famine.
poverty.
estranged from family.
molestation.
rape.
so many other things that make the things that i wake up and fight every morning look like apple pie and ponies. I am so thankful these are the only things i feel i have to fight. because whats my baggage compared to someone else that has something so much more serious to fight???